Golden Age Courtship Rites

The Golden Age is often romanticized for intricate and highly complex courtship routines. The heart of Golden Age culture, Arindell, is best known for this, though many of the same customs were found in Sun's Beacon.

Formal Courtships

Process

A couple would first meet in a public setting, usually at a formal event. These were held across all socioeconomic classes, with each done according to their own wealth. The lower-class citizens emulated as best they could the traditions and routines of the upper-class. If a young man saw a young woman he was interested in, he would first establish a cordial platonic relationship with her, meeting at events and getting to know her.

The man would then contract the services of a matchmaker, who would determine for him if the woman was already seriously courting anyone and also if they were likely to be a good fit. Most matchmakers were older women, but some large-scale professional matchmaking services did exist. The matchmaker would determine if the girl had any other serious suitors while also estimating the likelihood of the two individuals being a good match. Professional matchmakers were said to be quite skilled. Many romantic novels from the era, center around a young male protagonist who is presented as arrogant and egotistical. His matchmaker is stern and withholding, and forces him to learn to be a gentle soul before he can court the woman he loves.

Once the matchmaker has determined that the request for courtship is likely to be well-received, the young man must then approach the girl's father and request permission to court. The father could then deny the request at this point, though this was most common in upper-class societies where politics and inter-family dynamics played a role. It was also important for the father to like and respect the boy, so he could reject him on those grounds. Typically, however, the young man will have been couched in the finer points of social interaction by the matchmaker. If the father is not in the picture, permission must be granted by the young lady's legal guardian. Traditionally, if the young lady is being cared for by her mother, the mother will appoint a trusted male relative or familial friend to give her permission by proxy. Tradition dictates that the request must be passed and permission given by men; even if the actual decision makers are women. If the father or proxy grants the request, the man must then ask the woman, who can again deny it if she so chooses.

Formal courtships most often begin the late teens. Part of the process was for young people to learn how to communicate with adults. Once permission to court had been granted, the two would continue to meet at public events to begin their relationship. A very complex code was developed around the Regalia colors of the Slayer Dragons with single and dual combinations able to propose a wide variety of communications.

Courting couples and sometimes single friends would then gather for special activities of their own, usually without oversight. Mostly these were simply visits to the entertainment of the era. More infamously were the secretive "petting parties" in which groups of youths would gather together in seclusion and engaging in petting routines. The theory was that if they did this as a group, no one would go "too far" and that they would be able to police each other. Practice did not hold up these theories.

When it came time to propose, the man was expected to ask the woman. He did not need to request permission again from her father or guardian, as the initial request to court assumed the possibility of a proposal. It was then solely up to the woman to accept or deny the request.

Other Aspects

Young men were usually also expected to preform "feats of strength and endurance", styled after The Trials undertaken by Slayer Dragons. These were usually self-imposed tasks, though regular athletic contests were common. Along with purely physical endeavors such as races and swimming, demonstrations of mental discipline were also important, such as reciting classic poetry or reading certain books. In the later stages of courtship, men might recite lengthy oaths concerning their love and affection.

Color Codes

While much of the courtship rites were conducted openly, many elements could also be communicated through an elaborate code of dress. The system was based on the regalia color of then-sitting Slayer Dragons and changed regularly. Every eligible young person would have to own, at the very least, a neckerchief and scarf in every available regalia color. Wealthier individuals would own a wide array of outfits and accessories.

While dress based on Slayer Dragon regalia was common throughout all society, the colors took on special significance in matters matrimonial. A young man seeking courtship would dress in the colors of a Slayer Dragon expected to become the next Pendragon. When he'd begun actively courting a young lady, he'd change to the colors of the carrying-Pendragon. Women would wear colors according to a Slayer Dragon whom she felt matched her temperament, to help better indicate to seeking men what she was looking for in a suitor. When a woman began courting a young man, she would wear only one of the colors of the Pendragon. If she appeared in public wearing different colors, it was often as a sign that the courtship had ended or that she was losing interest.

Additional to clothing were small strips of cloth. While attending social events, young men would carry a bag or stuff a pocket with colored strips. When he spotted a woman he was interested in, he would take the strips corresponding to his own colors as well as those of his fancy, and have a messenger deliver them to her. If she tied all four strips together, it meant she was interested; if she tied only hers, it meant she was already courting; and when she tied just his, it indicated she understood him to already be in a courtship with another and did not wish to be a second (multiple consecutive courtships were not uncommon).

The pattern and tightness of the knots could also indicate the strength of a woman's feelings on the subjects. Knots tied only loosely meant she did not feel very strongly about her response, and that the potential suitor could possibly change her mind. Tighter knots indicated a firmer decision. Sending back a young man's packet of fabric strips with each individual strip tied in very tight knots was a clear sign that she did not ever wish to be contacted by him again.

Significance of White

Since white was never used as a regalia color, by the early-to-mid Golden Age, it took on signficiance during courtship. Specifically, when a couple became formally engaged, both parties would wear white as a sign that they were 'off the market'. Other colors not used in regalia were also meant to indicate this, but white was the most popular. Pure white fabrics were expensive and keeping a garment that color required special care. Among the poorer classes, it was used as a symbol of commitment; with individuals usually wearing only a scarf or headband. The upper classes flaunted their all-white engagement garments as signs of wealth.

Engagement rings did not become a common component of marriage until the very late Golden Age. It was customer upon proposal for a man to give his wife-to-be an expensive gift as a sign of his ability to care for her. In the early part of the age, this was most popularly a white garment. A man who could afford to give a white gown was usually highly regarded.

During the second century of the Golden Age, white gowns were also associated with virginity. A young woman who wore white during her engagement and to her wedding was doing so as a statement that she was virginal. Given the values of Golden Age culture, however, it would be completely unheard of for a woman to admit publicly to not being a virgin at the time of her first wedding. During this part of the era, women remarrying did not ever wear white, if they were involved in a formal courtship at all.

By the mid third-century, the notion of both parties dressing in white to signify their commitment to one another had become firmly entrenched, and was the norm. Though common wedding tradition still had the bride wear white while the groom dressed in the colors of the Pendragon. By the middle of the age, the tradition had shifted to the bride wearing one color while the groom wore the other, with their members of their wedding party wearing both.

Informal Courtships

The formal rites were mostly practiced by the upper class and by younger individuals in all rungs of society. Among the lower classes, any form of courtship or even formal marriages were often completely ignored by those in their late twenties. Middle class individuals would practice a very relaxed informal courtship routine similar to the formal one but with much more openness and direct communication.

Wedding Rituals

Golden Ages weddings were an interesting and ever-changing affair.